tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110704562011-07-28T04:06:58.400-07:00Wherein I record my journey through the perilous waters of the romance writing world, one (often aggravating) paragraph at a time. Mostly just nitpicking the darn things and toying with the idea of writing one myself. WARNING: spoilers abound.Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.comBlogger421100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1549032153834636552010-02-16T22:38:00.000-08:002010-02-16T23:00:20.982-08:00

More than merely a fictional writer of fictional fiction, McSterlingthong is the last word in fantasy. Just ask him! Or don't! While not strictly following the usual guidelines for this blog, I think "his" colorful creations deserve as much attention as possible because they make me laugh. This guy could give Longmire a run for his money.

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-15108111842757608392009-12-31T19:26:00.001-08:002009-12-31T19:26:34.682-08:00

What are a few things on your MUST DO before you die list? First and foremost: don't leave a mess. That means I need to clean all the junk out of my life, make a will, etc. I've been having to deal with big messes left behind by relatives and in-laws in the last ten years, and I do NOT want to do that to anybody else! Ask me anything

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-22874588251646435062009-12-03T12:37:00.001-08:002009-12-03T12:39:50.992-08:00

Not restricted to romance novels, but nevertheless appropriate for this blog. Too funny! The awards were established by the editors to "gently dissuade authors and publishers from including unconvincing, perfunctory, embarrassing or redundant passages of a sexual nature in otherwise sound literary novels."Article here...

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-43742385623670039732009-11-24T12:30:00.000-08:002009-11-24T12:50:12.491-08:00

Yeah, I know. It's been a geological age since I updated this blog. Blame Twitter. On the other hand, the coolness of this discovery more than makes up for my lack of diligence, I think. For those of you who get a kick out of Longmire's romance novel re-edits, I give you the sci-fi/fantasy genre equivalent....and more! Behold master wordsmith R.L. McSterlingthong, fantasist extraordinaire! You

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-42782322586683110972008-10-06T22:36:00.001-07:002008-10-06T22:39:38.568-07:00

Today's Engrish reads like the tagline from a really bad weeper. Or is it a suspense film? I don't know. I'm trying to escape the happiness but it's gaining!

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-7348962578867881602008-09-23T13:16:00.000-07:002008-09-23T14:13:25.874-07:00

As I typed in the title of this book in the "title" window for this blog post, it suddenly dawned on me that I have no idea in the world what that title has to do with the story I just read. Somehow, I'm guessing the publisher came up with it, since it was going to be a trilogy (I assume this was part of the book deal) and wanted something they could repeat. The other two books are "Unchained"

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-20459917740899950462008-09-12T09:29:00.000-07:002008-09-12T09:41:52.775-07:00

Wow, two posts in one week: I'm on a roll!Just discovered the Cakewrecks site a few weeks ago, and as a closet cake decorator I can't get enough of the bizarre, inexplicable, and unfortunate decorating endeavors that people have paid actual money for. Today, I logged on and laughed out loud:Oh...my...word. Now this would be kind of funny for a grown woman's birthday. You know the kind of gal:

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-43242834851788985012008-09-11T23:55:00.000-07:002008-09-12T00:20:00.385-07:00

Maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety, but I gave up on this one about 1/4 of the way in. I risk the ire of this author's legion of fans (apparently she's quite popular), but I just couldn't take the anachronisms and predictability after awhile. At no point was I sure exactly what time period was supposed to be represented by this story. It's billed as a "Regency" novel, but there is nothing

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-50676140871403908252008-08-07T22:45:00.000-07:002008-09-13T11:04:42.290-07:00

I know it's been a long time since the last entry. Just saw this at Engrish.com and had to share. Also: hubby just returned from speaking at the annual Romance Writers of America conference in San Francisco, and brought me back some paperbacks. Now, since he actually met these authors, I'm hoping they're really, really good so I can say nice things about them. If they're not my cup of tea, I'll

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-80362524831122049832008-01-26T10:58:00.000-08:002008-01-26T11:18:34.349-08:00

Time for another Georgette Heyer! An impoverished lord, home from the wars. A plain (yes, truly plain, not just "unbloomed potential") heiress and her scheming daddy. A thwarted passion...but was it really love? Nice and complex. Lovely characters. Believable dialogue. Needless to say, I'm enjoying myself!My only criticism? The usually awful cover on this edition from Chivers Audio, 1989. Yawnn..

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-72872629067430125012007-05-12T09:16:00.000-07:002008-07-03T09:59:39.690-07:00

Back to the usual fare. This time we have "Flaming Tree" by Phyllis A Whitney. Not truly awful, but also not interesting or compelling enough for me to do the whole thing. I got as far as starting the second tape.... and skipped to the last two. True to form, everything I needed to know for a tied-up conclusion was right where I expected. I can't imaging slogging through the entire middle of this

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-66714970292463228522007-04-22T10:18:00.001-07:002008-07-03T09:57:44.514-07:00

Mark your calendars! Alert the media! A romance novel I actually LIKE! Who'd have thunk it? The Spiral Path, by Mary Jo Putney, absolutely does NOT make me want to hurl it across the room (or just plain hurl, as do so many of these door stops). In fact (takes deep breath), I would actually recommend it as a good novel. Seriously: this woman has chops. Now, this is no "War and Peace", and, frankly

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-16399693683928704522007-04-04T10:13:00.000-07:002008-07-03T09:59:22.349-07:00

The target of my bile today is "Just Above a Whisper" by Lori Wick. I'm sure she's a lovely person, and I applaud her endeavor to write an "inspirational" Romance Novel. Perhaps next time she can write a good one.While I didn't utterly loathe this novel, I found little to recommend in it. I read the occasional Romance Novel for diversion, even though they almost always disappoint on several

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-2089991170188873482007-01-16T13:19:00.001-08:002008-07-03T10:02:47.206-07:00

OK, back to business. It's time for yet another romance novel report! This month's featured tome is "Manhunt", by Janet Evanovich. It was not horrible. I only had the urge to throw it across the room maybe twice, which is pretty good for my average romance novel experience.In an effort to be positive, I will list some good things about this book. First, I like the author's name. I realize that

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1162533910982371282006-11-02T22:05:00.000-08:002008-07-03T10:03:23.270-07:00

OK, I'm doing it. It just happens to be National Novel Writing Month, so I'm biting the bullet and jumping in with both feet (metaphors are more fun mixed). The little widget (above) shows how many words I've written. My page at NaNo is here.Yes, it's a romance...I think.

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1161289426445998462006-10-19T13:23:00.000-07:002008-07-03T10:04:28.933-07:00

Before I get any comments from people to the tune of "what do you expect with these books? Why be so critical?"*, I thought I'd say a few words.Back off.Those words said, tongue firmly in cheek, I must say that my expectations are fairly low when I pick up a slim volume with cheesy cover art like the ones in previous posts. Not all romance novels are tawdry, cheesy, flat, vulgar, boring, and/or

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1161283905273724722006-10-19T11:50:00.000-07:002008-07-03T10:09:34.931-07:00

OK, the title is really The Cowboy and the Belly Dancer...but I call "no way"! For a kind, forgiving review of this book, see Shira's. For an unforgiving, harsh and critical review, read on...I didn't like it.But wait, there's more! It isn't that it is offensive (except in that it's not very good, which is offensive enough) in, say, a vulgar or violent way, or anything like that. It's just that

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1160848873238085372006-10-14T11:01:00.000-07:002006-10-14T11:01:13.290-07:00

My hubby gave me the means to buy myself some birthday presents recently, so I darted right over to Amazon and picked up some books (some things never change). One of them was a used copy of, are you ready?, "The Cowboy and the Belly Dancer". I'm fully prepared for a buffet of awfulness. Stay tuned.

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1142708234109873662006-03-18T10:48:00.000-08:002006-10-14T17:36:55.306-07:00

I know, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." After the horror that was "Listen to Your Heart", you'd think I'd never be inclined to try another Fern Michaels offering. "But", I say, "I read a review somewhere that said LtYH was possibly the least of her novels!", so when I saw "Annie's Rainbow" at the library (I needed something to listen to) and read the synopsis, I thought

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1141865297125585542006-03-08T16:44:00.000-08:002006-03-08T16:49:52.130-08:00

Well, it was a good read. Actual redemption, as promised. We also get real 19th century (early-mid) clothing at the last minute...until the author blows it by having the hero remove his shirt and "place it around her shoulders". *Sigh* Contrary to such archives of historical accuracy as the film "Unforgiven" (which actually has good costuming here and there), men's shirts did not button/open all

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1141163094667381782006-02-28T13:34:00.000-08:002006-02-28T13:47:27.820-08:00

Calling all writers! Just thought I'd take a quick moment to introduce a new way annoy your readers with pesky little anachronistic details in your historical fiction. Bored with writing scenes of rakes magically copping a feel through gown/corset cover/corset/chemise? Tired of creating magic stoves that heat up to cooking temperature in five minutes and produce elaborate meals at the drop of a

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1141019714975392002006-02-26T21:55:00.000-08:002006-02-26T21:58:02.133-08:00

This is turning out to be a complex, engaging, well-crafted tale of catharsis and growth; truly thought-provoking. However... it may be time to put up a new web page entitled something like "Friends Don't Let Friends Write Bad, Anachronistic Clothing Into Their Fiction"...but maybe that's kind of wordy. Anyway, I will provide links to sites like the Costumer's Manifesto, which provides clothing

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1140747793631362292006-02-23T18:23:00.000-08:002006-02-23T18:39:06.696-08:00

Just started a new type of Romance Novel: the "inspirational" kind. I was prepared for syrupy dreck, but the prose is actually pretty decent so far. The characters are fairly well drawn, too. It's a re-telling of the story of Hosea, set in Gold Rush California (ca. 1850), and I can see that the author's strong suit (pun!) is NOT garment history. I do not EVER want to see the words "blouse" (for a

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1138574331831060612006-01-29T14:32:00.000-08:002006-01-29T14:42:35.996-08:00

OK, there were Highlanders at some ball thingy in Brussels on the eve of Waterloo. The cover artist actually read the thing, I guess. My report? A nice round of applause! Readable story (if short): fairly well thought out characters, decent plot, good historical details, pretty believable inner monologues. Not bad for a little romance pulper. There was just a touch of "Mammoth Hunters Syndrome" (

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1138215645298831132006-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:002006-01-25T11:09:14.993-08:00

...average-looking romance novel keeps picky skeptic interested for more than five minutes! No, really! It's true! While it's not by any means Austen or Heyer quality, "Lady Althea's Bargain" by Gayle "Regency"(just kidding) Buck, a trim little 223 page Signet Regency Romance from 1995, is actually engaging my attention. Huzzah! Aside from some very occasionally clunky period dialogue and a

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1136511646896524572006-01-05T17:30:00.000-08:002006-01-09T17:59:25.106-08:00

Yes, it's the perfect cure for insomnia. Just grab yourself a copy of "Listen to Your Heart", by Fern Michaels! Guaranteed to shove you into the arms of Morpheus, if not into a coma, in under five chapters (they're short). A more lackluster yawnfest I have yet to encounter. Actually, I listened to it on tape, and at a mere 4 tapes (unabridged...that should have been a red flag) I figured, "What

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1133664223072053802005-12-03T18:34:00.000-08:002005-12-03T18:43:43.073-08:00

Well, as perfect as your average well-written novel gets. "Mr. Perfect", by Linda Howard. A contemporary romance/murder mystery with believable, fun characters and an interesting plot: who'd'a thunk it? Do other people cast characters in their mind's cinema from the pool of well-known actors? This one starred Adam Baldwin (need a hunky, smart alec cop?) and Julianne Moore (she can SO do tough/

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1133138662081565162005-11-27T16:29:00.000-08:002005-11-27T16:47:16.496-08:00

Listened to a new (for me) Georgette Hayer novel week before last and it was, as usual, a good time: Regency Buck. I know, it's a classic, but I'm new at this genre and catching up.Today, I gave up in disgust on side one of tape two of The Promise in a Kiss by Stephanie Laurens. It reads like an outline rather than a nicely fleshed-out story, and...um...nothing is happening. They meet, they go

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1129863341778867812005-10-20T19:48:00.000-07:002005-12-03T18:34:32.123-08:00

No, that is not an innuendo. I'm just kind of disappointed with the end of the aforementioned novel, Finding Laura. The murder mystery turned out to be completely from left field with no foreshadowing whatsoever: foul! Other mysterious plot items turned out to be more interesting, oddly enough. The "other" two love relationships started to be interesting and then were dropped like hot potatoes,

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1129778542468378372005-10-19T20:22:00.000-07:002005-10-19T20:45:15.046-07:00

Well, here we go into another romance novel. So far this one is not awful, and that's saying a lot. If you can get past the TMI sex scenes, which, since I'm listening to this on tape involves careful use of the FF button, it's actually palatable. Did I say TMI?* It's also "too little information" at times. We are not spared every intimate detail of the many sex scenes, but there never seem to be

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1127969375329224672005-09-28T21:49:00.000-07:002005-09-28T22:23:37.046-07:00

I know, I know: what's with the lack of updates lately? Hey, the new house needs lots of attention before the weather gets ugly, so I've been outside. A lot. Yesterday I was recovering from a migraine (too much sunshine, I think) and decided to rest comfortable on the sofa and watch a couple of DVDs from the library. "Working Girl", which I've always wanted to see, was super! Two thumbs up! My

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1118022010696242902005-06-05T18:33:00.000-07:002005-06-05T19:42:19.026-07:00

...George Lucas! For the mind-bogglingly stilted and corny dialogue between Annakin and Amidala/Padme in "SW3: Revenge of the Nerds...(oops)...Sith".I mean really: "Hold me Annakin! Like you did that time on Naboo...by the lake...when things seemed so peaceful..." (bad paraphrase, but I know I'm close).We've been so busy moving to our new home in Washington that I haven't had time to read any

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1112903179932889962005-04-07T12:38:00.000-07:002005-04-08T10:22:14.330-07:00

No, I'm not going to describe what I ate this morning (I certainly didn't eat in bed). It's the title of the latest romance novel I attempted to digest. This one stuck in my throat after the first few "pages" (I was listening to it on tape) and it's on its way back to the library. Ugh. What's with these RN writers and characters who are utterly incapable of platonic mixed gender relationships? Am

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1112758781755287362005-04-05T20:25:00.000-07:002005-04-05T20:41:17.136-07:00

Many people have asked me when I'm going to finish my coverage of Magnificent Passage, and my answer to both of you is, "um, do I have to?" OK, in the interest of completion, I will offer this brief after-action report: To quote Pearl Forrester, "It sucks on toast." Truly, honestly, it devolved from pedestrian and juvenile into an offensive and misogynistic bottom-dwelling bodice ripper (

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1112028888451403952005-03-28T08:52:00.000-08:002005-07-27T22:05:13.883-07:00

Longmire is at it again! Check out his romance novel cover page for new additions...plus endorsements! Yes, this page has become very popular. Quoth he, "Currently, I am teetering between the number one and two positions of results from searches of "romance novels" on Google. Don't know how long that will last, or what it's worth, but it feels great for now!"Update: Hey! I made the Longmire

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1110169624486126792005-03-06T20:11:00.000-08:002005-06-24T14:23:38.890-07:00

1. This chapter gets the first (there may be more) of the awards for coming right out of the gate, in the first sentence, with a historical error. Cousin "Julia folded another blouse...". Is she doing a valet service for the soldiers now? At least that would show some enterprise. In the 19th century "blouse" still means what we think of as a coat or jacket. In fact this term has this meaning

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109644467959089412005-02-28T18:23:00.000-08:002005-02-28T18:34:27.960-08:00

4. So our hero Travis, a.k.a. "Hawk" (his manly Indian name) and his buddy James Long (nudge nudge...sorry) meet with the Governor of CA...cousin Julia's daddy! Turns out she is notorious throughout the land (as in the entire continental US) as a hoyden and an untamed vixen, and has made the "headlines of every social column in every newspaper in the West". Apparently one of her "escapades"

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109533475461578922005-02-27T11:39:00.000-08:002005-02-27T11:44:35.463-08:00

Here's another great website, found after Googling "romance novel covers": Longmire Does Romance Novels. He's taken some gems of novel covers and had some fun with Photoshop. I laughed so hard I actually cried. I find it significant that a good percentage of these bad covers involve some poor bloke in a tartan of some kind. Thanks to the over romanticization by the Victorians of all things

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109447348651336432005-02-26T11:45:00.000-08:002005-02-26T11:50:14.740-08:00

1. And now, back to our hero, currently in California, and his name is..."Travis Langley". That is an extremely odd and unusual name for this period. "Travis" was not used as a first name until decades later. Perhaps it should be hyphenated? Maybe he is just known by his family name(s)? I doubt it. It's better than "Dirk Slabchest" though.2. He is confronted in the "saloon" by "a buxom (yes)

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109447006730643112005-02-26T11:43:00.000-08:002005-02-26T11:45:26.636-08:00

OK, we've moved ahead a few years from 1865 to '68. Still in Ft. Laramie, WY, and now our heroine, the lovely but repressed Samantha "Mandy" Ashton is...1. Wearing a "high-necked brown muslin dress." Pick a decade and stick with it, please. The muslin would be great if this were a Regency (1800-1820) tale, and the high neck would be fine after '75 or so. Make up your mind! Also: I doubt if it's a

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109387836282750152005-02-25T19:17:00.000-08:002005-02-25T19:34:38.160-08:00

And now a word from our (non) sponsors. I love looking at Romance covers; they're almost as good as the covers of the Weekly World News and about as grounded in reality. There's a whole world of nitpicking in these little snapshots all by themselves. For fun, I just Googled "bad romance novel cover" and found this funny site that takes polls on romance novels and makes annual awards list. Luckily

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11070456.post-1109350227420236352005-02-25T08:50:00.000-08:002005-02-27T21:32:40.023-08:00

I've been kicking around the idea of writing a romance novel. Or maybe just a historical novel with some romance in it. As part of my research I've been slogging through the occasional romance novel as a break from my not-so-guilty pleasure of Jane Austen. Let's just say that after reading some ditzy Harlequin yawner it's always a pleasure to re-reenter Ms. Austen's world of thouroughly

Nebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04159239707310374715noreply@blogger.com0